Baby steps

“Today, those of us who choose to name ourselves Crone do so to raise consciousness around issues of aging. Paradoxically, at the beginning of the 21st century, the ancient Wise Woman Crone archetype is emerging within women all over the world. We are beginning to realize that this third and crowning stage of female life (the one our culture throws away) is more authentic, creative, outrageous, powerful, funny, healing and profound than we ever imagined.” Helen Redman, Birthing the Crone http://www.birthingthecrone.com/

Hello my friends

Over the last few years I have been changing - a lot. I'm undergoing a metamorphosis; the skin on my hands is slowly softening and my hair is turning grey. I can’t tell you a whole lot about how my face is behaving as my eye sight is fading - is that a blessing? A voice out there tells me I should be doing all I can to stop this march of time on my body, but an even stronger one inside me says it’s rather beautiful, go with it. I feel a type of serenity that I’ve never known before, deep happiness and quiet confidence. If this is growing older – bring it on I say.

I did fight it in the beginning, with the first sign of a hot flush or flash (what's the difference?) I marched off to the doctor and demanded HRT. Bugger the problems it might bring with it tomorrow, I wanted to stay young today. I dyed and straightened and highlighted my hair and I NEVER told anyone my real age. Underwire push up bra’s, horrible tight elastic knickers and “body moulding” clothes became my fashion accessories. I attacked my changing body with an arsenal of chemicals and to be honest none of them really worked.My mind was in a state of constant confusion, which of course I put down to age, concentration levels were low and worries about getting old and becoming useless were high. I was agitated and hyper and it was so much hard work just trying so bloody hard to keep up. I got ill.

Shortly before I turned 50, while focusing on getting better, something changed inside me. I looked around and realised how lucky I was, how much I was loved. My children, my soon to be husband, family and friends didn’t love me for my external image – they loved me for the essence of who I am. Wasn't that what I should be concentrating on? I started nurturing rather than fighting who I was becoming. I started exploring just who I could be.

Over time it has dawned on me that this change, this change of life, is not an ending, it is a brand new beginning. I have entered the third stage of my life and just like starting anything new, you start in the baby class. I have suddenly become one of the youngest members in my group and I have a very long way to go before graduation. Everything is relative - it just depends on the perspective from which you view it.

So I am becoming a crone - an apprentice crone I am, I am. Since deciding to consciously take those first few steps on this road, I have been on the most incredible journey of discovery. In my 50th year I got married, became a grandmother and embarked on a career change. My dreams are bigger and better than they have ever been and I am on track to achieve them. I feel fantastic. I love my life.

I still use potions to nourish my skin and wear make up when I feel like it. But I care more about nourishing my mind and feeding my soul. I take time to smell the roses, I talk to trees and I walk in wet grass with bare feet. And strangely enough, I achieve more.

Through this blog I hope we can share our experiences and perhaps give each other a little bit of advice and encouragement as we tip toe into the third phase of our lives. I'm hoping that you will help me discover my outrageous self (I like that one best) and that I will be able to return the favour.

With all my love and blessings to my fellow apprentices.